ZINE 1 COVER

ZINE 1 COVER

ZINE 1 PAGES 1 & 2 A traffic jam of the mind for 25 years and counting When I first checked the engine She was all steamy Rusted and leaky But I oiled her up And massaged her all nice Patched up the leaks And scraped the dead mice She

ZINE 1 PAGES 1 & 2

A traffic jam of the mind
for 25 years and counting

When I first checked the engine
She was all steamy
Rusted and leaky

But I oiled her up
And massaged her all nice
Patched up the leaks
And scraped the dead mice
She's still a little slow
Ain't winnin' no shows
Sometimes she just stops
And don't know where to go

But at the end of the day
She's mine
And hell, if you ask me
She works just fine!

ZINE 1 PAGES 3 & 4 Back when I was small I dreamed of being big I'd touch noses with the branches Swayin' in the trees And cause a few slippery accidents With my mighty gooey sneeze With my size 200 shoes And cotton dress made from a tr

ZINE 1 PAGES 3 & 4

Back when I was small
I dreamed of being big

I'd touch noses with the branches
Swayin' in the trees
And cause a few slippery accidents
With my mighty gooey sneeze

With my size 200 shoes
And cotton dress made from a trillion pigments of blue
I happily wander
Through the night
With no intention
Of causing a fright!

"What's that?!" the people would scream.
"Be careful! Stand back! She'll rupture your spleen!"

But I wouldn't mind
Havin' people stare
After all
They're just jealous
Of all the fun I'm havin' up there.

ZINE 1 PAGES 4 & 5 Dear Mom, I've been doing a lot of thinking these days. I feel I must inform you that I want to be him And fuck her My sincerest apologies, Hannah

ZINE 1 PAGES 4 & 5

Dear Mom,

I've been doing a lot of thinking these days.

I feel I must inform you that

I want to be him

And fuck her

My sincerest apologies,

Hannah

ZINE 1 PAGES 5 & 6 We are gathered here today to mourn the stories of men and the rather unfortunate society that instructed us to worship the stoke of their pens  Tales of murder, adventure and woe And the chin-scratching complexi

ZINE 1 PAGES 5 & 6

We are gathered here today
to mourn the stories of men

and the rather unfortunate society
that instructed us to worship
the stoke of their pens 

Tales of murder, adventure and woe
And the chin-scratching complexity
Of metaphorical and syntactical control

They held the key
And locked the door
But I hear the room is quite stuffy, the furniture a bit old
and the air quality is bad
On account of all the mold

So please, if you have a tale
and are anything but a straight white male
show us your words! feed us your soul!
for we deserved to nourished
in this otherwise barren world

ZINE 1 PAGES 6 & 7 My tummy ain't rumblin My energy levels are low I'm gettin pretty bad thoghts About something I said long ago So I'm off to the fridge Where nobody knows About a game I like to play, called How Much Food Can I Shove Dow

ZINE 1 PAGES 6 & 7

My tummy ain't rumblin
My energy levels are low
I'm gettin pretty bad thoghts
About something I said long ago

So I'm off to the fridge
Where nobody knows
About a game I like to play, called
How Much Food Can I Shove Down in One Go?

There's a leftover stew, a pizza, a beer
Some blue and black cheddar
You shouldn't go near
An ole' can of beans
A stale ham and cheese
And a loaf of bread that's looking quite green

But then I saw
Outta the corner of my eye
A fine lookin' thing
Named strawberry rhubarb pie

So I grabbed me a spoon
Picked up the bowl
Took a deep breath
And swallowed er' whole

Strange as it sounds
and despite all the mold
I started feeling sorry for the food
Just sitting there in the cold

So before my body got all numb
And my tummy realized its work here was done
The pizza, the beans, even the ham and cheese
Disappeared faster than you could say
"For the love of God, Andy, please!"

At least that's what Carl would have said
I usually call him when these thoughts get to my head
But this time I really wasn't in the mood
To come up with a reason
Not to eat all that food

You may think it gross, barbaric, uncouth
But what's it to you
What I spit or what I chew?

And if you're wonderin
How I eat all that stuff
It's by being a talented son of a bitch
Thank you very much!!!!!

ZINE 1 END

ZINE 1 END

ZINE 2 COVER

ZINE 2 COVER

ZINE 2 PAGES 1 & 2 If beauty is in the eye of the beholder Then so is pain Except the former Is a bit easier to ascertain The latter can hide Behind smiles and gestures and big blue eyes That might seem serene But in reality Want to sc

ZINE 2 PAGES 1 & 2

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Then so is pain
Except the former
Is a bit easier to ascertain

The latter can hide
Behind smiles and gestures and big blue eyes

That might seem serene
But in reality
Want to scream

For help, attention, a fleeting hug
From a friend, a partner, or an overweight pug

Pain has too many faces
For us to know one well
And so we carry on
Unable to tell

ZINE 2 PAGES 3 & 4 Welcome to the world! We're happy you're here! Would you like to be a child? A horse? Perhaps a light-stricken deer? Just kidding That wouldn't be too fun But that said You'd be converted to energy And fly towards the

ZINE 2 PAGES 3 & 4

Welcome to the world!
We're happy you're here!
Would you like to be a child?
A horse?
Perhaps a light-stricken deer?

Just kidding
That wouldn't be too fun
But that said
You'd be converted to energy
And fly towards the sun

She'd cook you up a new life
If you want to return
As a leaf, an ant, or a hot cross bun

We've been them all
Many times over
And so will you

Because today is never over

ZINE 2 PAGES 3 & 4 God created the world And so we create ours It can be a spilling stream of glitter or a sizable chunk of mars It can be a planet shaped like a chair Or a gaggle of folks who never cut their hair It can be big a conti

ZINE 2 PAGES 3 & 4

God created the world
And so we create ours

It can be a spilling stream of glitter
or a sizable chunk of mars

It can be a planet shaped like a chair
Or a gaggle of folks who never cut their hair

It can be big a continent
or small as a grape

Hard as a stone
Or soft as a pancake

It can be anything really
Big, small or tall

As long as it's yours
finding it should be no trouble at all

ZINE 2 END

ZINE 2 END

ZINE 3 COVER

ZINE 3 COVER

ZINE 3 PAGES 1 & 2

ZINE 3 PAGES 1 & 2

ZINE 3 PAGES 3 & 4 A creature of habit A mimer of the past Somebody incapable Of taking out the trash My cookies, weed and cigarette sprees Keep my mind busy And my heart idle All the while unable to see that what I need is right in f

ZINE 3 PAGES 3 & 4

A creature of habit
A mimer of the past
Somebody incapable
Of taking out the trash

My cookies, weed and cigarette sprees
Keep my mind busy
And my heart idle

All the while unable to see
that what I need
is right in front of me

But instead I walk a circular path
Lined with empty bottles
LED screens
and sleepless nights on a stormy sea

I'll find my way out
Of that I'm sure
I'll just follow the sun
Unless I can buy one at the store?

ZINE 3 PAGES 4 & 5 Old man by the sea Won't you come talk to me? I'm sinking into the sand Inventing stories about what I see Where are you from? Who is your wife? Ah, I see, you're not the talkative type Well... What are your wishes

ZINE 3 PAGES 4 & 5

Old man by the sea
Won't you come talk to me?

I'm sinking into the sand
Inventing stories about what I see

Where are you from?
Who is your wife?
Ah, I see, you're not the talkative type

Well...
What are your wishes? Dreams? Hopes? Fears?
Do you believe in aliens?
Or a swarm of bees shaped like reindeer?

I wonder about you deeply
It's ok if you find it strange

Although you don't know me
I care for you just the same

ZINE 3 END

ZINE 3 END